The Practical Steps To Go From Overwhelm To Taking Action!
This is a continuation from the No Longer A Hot Mess Of A Mumma series in The Wholesome Mumma Community (search on Facebook to join). If you have been stuck in the overwhelm of your day and don't know practically how to move forward and change things, then listen in. In this episode, I walk you through an exercise I did to figure out and acknowledge what is not working for me and my family and then the steps I took to move to a place of joy and peace.
Last week we went over how we can shift our mindset from being stuck in the hot mess culture to becoming a mum who can show up and be present for her family but is still able get stuff done.
Today, we’re going to chat about how you can practically take the step needed so you can show up and get stuff done.
First, you need to know what is currently not working in your day to day life?
Is there a time of day that is really difficult for you?
How you can best figure this out, especially if you have no idea, is to break up your day.
Mornings - from when you first wake up to getting the kids out the door for school or going to work - what during this time could be done better? How do you feel during this time?
During the day - what’s not working here for you? Are you at home with your toddlers and cannot seem to get any housework done because you’re constantly in the kitchen making food or changing nappies?
Afternoon - When the kids get home from school, how do they feel? How do you feel? What need to happen here for this transition to be done better.
Same thing for dinner time and then evenings and bed time.
This isn’t to overwhelm you, but to break up the day and see all the little things during the day that currently are overwhelming you and how you can take action and find solutions to make each one a little bit better.
When you think about this - is there any underlying issues that you keep coming back to?
Some further discovery questions to ask yourself that impact how you are showing up day to day:
How do you feel physically and mentally? Are you emotionally exhausted?
How do you feel when you think of those people around you? Is there a friendship or relationship that is really getting you down?
What is causing you the most stress right now?
How is your relationship with yourself?
How is your relationship with God?
I want you to really spend time and think about these questions.
Then do a brain dump - this is one of my favourite things to do. Just get everything out of your head and get it down on paper. Everything that comes up for you when you look at these questions - write it down.
Okay, now you have your brain dump. Focus on the things that you can control. You can highlight or circle them - whatever you can do so they stand out. And let everything else go. Say to yourself “I’m letting that go”.
Now I want you to brain storm.
For every stress, pain point, thing that you CAN control - write out one thing that COULD be a solution. This is not saying that this is the one and only solution but it’s getting you to think of just one way that you could do this one thing better.
Eg. Choosing what to have for dinner really overwhelms me, I don’t know what we have in the pantry or fridge so dinner is stressful and so we get takeaway.
Nothing wrong with getting the odd takeaway, but let’s think of one possible solution - you could do a meal plan when you do your groceries. Then you know you have the ingredients for those meals ready to go. Now that’s not the ONLY solution, but it’s one possible solution.
The key is to not over complicate this process but keep it simple. When you look at each problem - what is one thing that would make you feel better? eg. setting more boundaries in place, going for a walk as soon as you get home from work.
It’s important though, just like with our health, we need to discover the root cause of this problem. So when you are doing this, I want you to really spend time thinking about why this is overwhelming and stressful.
So with getting dinner bring a stressful time for you - the root cause of the problem might be that you’re not getting organised when doing the groceries and you’re just putting whatever in the bag. So to solve the root cause; meal prepping and being organised before you leave for the shop would help.
Now you have your list of actions to take. Look at them firstly - take a moment and ask yourself how does that make you feel - if you were doing this daily and these new habits are already in place, how does that feel?
Now see what are related and figure out what the first ‘big domino’ could be that would have the most flow on effects of change.
Pick ONE change at a time, a mistake I see so many women take is they try to change too much too soon. Do one at a time. If you try and do it all at once, it won’t all happen and then you will revert to the hot mess mindset of being stuck in the struggle and telling yourself you’ve failed. Take it one win at a time. This helps train your brain to think in this new way of gratitude and optimism but in a practical way, because I can do it and have done it.
For each action step - think of any possible hurdles and how you will overcome them? eg. Not wanting to go for a walk - you might give yourself a pep talk o the way home, or even take your work out clothes to work. Or setting boundaries for yourself and learning to say “no” to more. What will your plan be when someone next asks you to do something and you revert back to wanting to say “yes”, particularly when that person knows you as being a ‘yes’ person. Is there a way you can tell yourself that saying “no” is the best thing for you and your family?
When making changes, and some of these will be small changes that only you notice but some will be significant changes for you and your family that will change how your home and life is, you need to balance your discipline and ‘push’ but it’s not a chore so be excited for what is going to come from this! And when it gets hard, think about how you will feel when you are there. Then live as if you already are.
Say out loud:
I am an action taking mumma!
I am a problem solving mumma!
I am going to show up for my family, yet I am still going to get stuff done!